“I got her name tattooed under my right eye and surprised her at work. That’s when I found out she spells Linda with a ‘y.’ She actually had the nerve to call me ridiculous.”
LOW MAINTENANCE APPLEBEE’S = Half-priced appetizers.
SUPER CLASSY APPLEBEE’S = Lemon wedge on the rim of your water glass.
I want red wine every day and buckets of sangria and mojitos that taste like summer and whiskey that tastes like the cold.
I’m learning that successful participation in the dating scene today requires putting exorbitant effort into looking like I just don’t care. A person must appear witty, funny, and attractive 100% of the time. But, you know, without letting it seem like he’s actually trying.
On the other side, you’re crushed, but just as confused. Trying to talk to her gets you nowhere, and she just becomes more distant. What the hell could be wrong with you?
The bed we’ve shared plenty times suddenly feels empty.