Thought Catalog

Love & Sex

The Joy of Text: Why Talking on the Phone Is So Last Century

The downside: If it’s possible to pay your bills, watch movies, listen to music, or have an entire romance by pressing a keypad, why bother leaving the house at all? Feeling horny? Get laid with Grindr, or have text sex. Pretty much the only things we can’t do with online technology are exercise and go to the bathroom, but I’m sure someone is working on it.

How to Be My Girlfriend

Speaking of sex. I want you to like it. I want you to be sort of a perv and not be afraid to do, well, basically whatever I ask you to do. I want you to be strong. I’m strong, and I like to feel a little bit stronger than you, but every so often, take the palm of your hand and push my face to the side and press it down into the pillow – if for no other reason than to show that you can.

Ivy League Professor Charged With Incest

According to reports, political science professor David Epstein has been arrested for having, um, sexual relations with his 24-year-old daughter. Consensual sexual relations, that is. Though Epstein has yet to respond to the allegations, his lawyer has asked the Columbia community to “support him and give him the benefit of the doubt.” Hmmm. Epstein is now on administrative leave.

Based on a True Story

On television, people have accidentally shot and killed their best friend while playing with their dad’s gun. In books, people have cried silently as their uncle slid his dick between their prepubescent thighs. How could my story compare to those? Nobody wants to hear about the time as a child I was offered a blowjob.

Advice From The Idiot: How Much Should I Lie in My Dating Profile?

So here is my advice on lying: do it. Within reason. Describe you on your best day, or – even better – what would your Mom say about you if she met a friend at the drug store? There’s your dating profile. (Unless your Mom is at the drug store to pick up a prescription for the weird rash you have on growing on your private parts. Then say something else.)

How My Girlfriend Sees Me Vs. How My Friends See Me

I don’t use public showers i.e. in gyms or swimming pools that require a membership and prefer not to piss openly in front of others (actually I can’t) so any penis ‘flashing’ my friends might have been subject to has been merely coincidental and unintentional and left unmentioned.

The B-Boys of the San Fernando Valley

I took this photo on the set of a bukkake movie. If you’re not familiar with the term, it basically means a bunch of guys stand around and masturbate onto a woman. They turned this activity into a type of movie, first in Japan, and then in America. When I heard the word for the first time, it intrigued me. Bukkake is a good metaphor for pretty much everything American. We want it all, all the time. Until we are drowning.

Thoughts on the Red Riding Hood Trailer

Some faith is to be had; Hardwicke’s film Thirteen was a far cry heavier than the Twilight franchise, and she is not a stranger to the delicate and brutal inner workings of teenage girls. Because it is this percentage of the youth population who will flock to this film, it is a chance to reveal sexuality’s truths – the many beauties of it, and the many obstacles girls still face in their attempts…