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I know I say being single is fine and that I’m fine, but on days like this when lovers are out kissing in public and all the T.V. ever plays are romance movies… I remember you.

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 It wasn’t until distance came between us that I realized how hard it is to miss something that was never yours to miss.

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Sometimes we can’t cross the ocean between two souls, love won’t fix your resistance to having childrenyour desire to not be married, love can’t thrive if you are travelling the world and they don’t understand your thirst.

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Now you’re scared — scared of making another wrong decision, scared of continuing the path you started in your early twenties of falling for people who are wrong for you thinking you’ll change them.

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And I’m tired of always being the ‘one who came too late,’ the ‘one that’s never good enough,’ the ‘expendable asset,’ the ‘supporting character,’ and most of all, I’m tired of having my trust broken.

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But of course, love moves in mysterious ways. Despite my brain saying no, my heart still thinks otherwise. It still yearns for your presence, for the superficial presence I have unconsciously created.

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I wonder if when he holds the parts of me I give to him, he wishes they were yours.

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It doesn’t make sense to keep getting heartbroken when all we wanted to do was love. That we show our best to someone so they can show us their worst. That the more we like someone, the more they ignore us. That the moment you’re ready for love, it eludes you.

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It will never make sense to me though, how can someone just stop loving you, how is that even possible.

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To love completely
is to lose.