“

So, I’m 23 and I still haven’t had sex. 

“

I didn’t have anything to lose.

“

The idea that a girl might possibly enjoy sex wasn’t a concept that was ever spoken about in the secondary school playground; it was always reluctantly avoided within the awkward walls that hosted those dreadful sex-ed classes.

“

“Girls care so much more than guys. Guys do care, at least I did, but it wasn’t something I beat myself up for like they seemed to do.”

“

“I dated a guy for four years. When I was finally ready for him to be my first, he blurted out that he had slept with a woman at his work. I’ve been scarred ever since.”

“

if you aren’t ready to go any further than hand holding or a kiss, you don’t have to.

“

I hurt him because I couldn’t love him back, no matter how strong his love was.

“

I had been thinking that by the time I finally did lose my virginity, it would have become this big deal because I’d gone so long without sex.

“

But I stopped laughing – I stopped breathing – when he looked directly at me and said, “I’m glad I’m doing this with you.” The next kiss sucked out any oxygen I had left, and, for a second, not breathing felt incredible.

“

Maybe it was the age, maybe it was being in high school. Maybe it was immaturity, maybe it was the improbability of young love. Maybe he had heard the rumors about me and decided to see if they were true. Maybe like every cautionary tale I had decided to ignore, once he undid those jeans and climbed on top of me he clearly had had enough.