I wish you had never taught me how to be alone and love it because now I got used to it. Now I don’t fight to get out of it. Now it’s my second home.
When you feel disconnected from everyone around you, it means you’re growing, you’re evolving, you’re becoming a new and improved version of yourself, you’re changing and people don’t react well to change.
We try to fill the void. Some write. Some reach for the pill bottle. Others run until their feet blister, work until dawn, or drink until they can’t see. We go to bed with strangers, and enter relationships with completely wrong people.
Please don’t think these feelings are going to remain. You will one day understand that loneliness is an okay feeling. Loneliness is something that you need to feel.
It’s interesting that some people view functioning coping skills as abnormal qualities. What a strange world we live in when self-love and taking personal responsibility for self is seen as odd.
I hope you know that loneliness is not the answer. It’s not where you belong. It’s not what life comes down to.
Grieving feels like being tangled up, suffocating, choking on your own emotions. It feels like a wave, a tsunami of unknown and uncertain. It feels like falling through space with nothing familiar to land on.
You need to be okay with being alone. You have to accept that you are enough. I understand you want someone in your life. I understand you don’t want to feel alone. But you should be happy when you’re by yourself.
Do you have someone to share this vast loneliness with? Do you have someone to live out this world with?
Tell him everything. Even though he knows everything you want to say. He wants to hear your voice. He wants you to open up to him. He wants you to keep getting closer.