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Even though no one asked me, welcome to my TED talk.

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The other day in the elevator at work. The nurse was just trying to leave work but instead got trapped on the way out and forced to look at pictures. Pictures of doodles. Labradoodles. Goldendoodles.Cavoodles.

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Announcer: “Do you have too much too fit anything else into your busy schedule?”

Truth: We can see you sitting on the couch eating corn chips at 3am.  You have nothing to do tomorrow.

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Just be a nice person. If you are unable to do so, just maintain your body temp through homeostasis.

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Safety pins. You never know when the bat mitzvah girl needs one! Stat!

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I don’t know what it is, but I must look like a woman that screams “Please show me your penis.”

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You want to get in a zone though, but not one of those dirty zones, but in an about to be dirty zone, relaxed, calm, in a great mood, and ready to give all your love and full attention.

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“Oh, you’re allergic to that? Oops.”

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Have fun reading books!

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First of all, I’d like to ask for your prayers during this difficult and traumatic time. Come, let me take you on a journey – one that is fraught with horror and pain.