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I am no longer in charge of my body, you make its decisions for me.

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It begins with Monday. A dreaded day for most but not so much for me. I take comfort in knowing that I have an entire five days where it will be socially acceptable to hibernate.

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If you live with anxiety you know this face well. You recognize its presence and dread its return.

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I don’t have the mind racing thoughts, the occasional panic attack, and I’m confident in myself. Lexapro allowed me to do the self-work I needed to be an even better version of myself. 

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You make my heart race, my chest feel tight, my stomach twist in knots, my whole body feel tense.

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How do you deal with something that you’ve had as long as you can remember?

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The truth is, I feel lost. I feel swallowed by my emotions, by feelings of insufficiency, doubt, and panic. I find it difficult to get through my day; I have to consciously push away negative feelings and angry impulses.

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I can go a whole day about thinking of the things that once triggered me.