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I get too emotionally involved in other people’s relationships.

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When you meet someone new and realize you share the same music taste, you full on FREAK OUT. It becomes the “Oh my god, do you listen to ____?” hour.

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Creepy dudes jump at the opportunity to say, “HEY, WANNA GO ON MY SHOULDERS SO YOU CAN SEE?”

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I understand. I’ve experienced it too, more than once and probably too often. So here are a few ways you can get through this tough time:

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Happy Festivaling!

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But if I could get in a souped-up Delorean right now I’d travel back to 1981 to see the Minutemen and Descendents open up for Black Flag at the Cuckoo’s Nest.

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What I’m saying is, I’ve been to big arena concerts, I’ve been to tiny bar concerts, and one thing is always the same: the people (and, let’s be real, beer always costs at least $7).

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Combine this with the ubiquitous, conspicuous drug and alcohol consumption, plus the fact that people everywhere are dressed in flashy outfits they’d never wear anywhere else, and suddenly the real nature of Outside Lands becomes pretty apparent: this festival is just one big high-school/college party.

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New Yorkers are not automatically impressed. Bands are not doing us a favor. They are playing on our stage.

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This just in from the Monster Ball at Houston – Lady Gaga ate shit. No – not like, a “performance art” piece where she ate actual human feces (although, one would be stretching it a bit to put her above that) – just like, Lady Gaga, in all her larger-than-life glory, falling awkwardly off a flaming piano.