Thought Catalog

Lifeguard

10 Things Only Lifeguards Will Understand

It seems like some parents nowadays seem to forget that Lifeguard are not in fact, babysitters. They’ll drop their kids off at the pool and come back to pick them up hours later. Yes, I will save your child’s life if need be, but that is the extent of my care-taking.

5 Jobs That Made Us Grow Up

You flashback to nightmares of a weed whacker chained to your arm with your finger permanently glued to a pulled back trigger. Your whole body cringes as
bits of shredded poison ivy explode all around you, painting your legs, arms, and face like blood.

4 Jobs To Take If You Hate Humanity

You learn the procedures, you become familiar with how the different coffee tastes and what it mixes well with. It’s not some magical set of spells and incantations that you learn over high-moon ceremonies as you sacrifice a chicken with your shift manager–it’s making god damn espresso.