“

She didn’t want to be my mother. She wanted to be my partner, and she wanted me to apply all of my intelligence and learning capabilities to the logistics of managing our lives and household.

“

Two Christmases = twice the presents. Parents who feel guilty about us “growing up in a broken home” = even more presents.

“

We went to UPS where a worn looking notary named Pam officiated the paperwork. If I had to guess what she was thinking it would be: A. Not surprised (military IDs), B. So young! (Being a 24 year old divorcee is better than 40, right?), and probably C. Wow, they are attractive.

“

In less than four hours, the purple fermented love potion which had been trapped inside for over 8 years had finally been exorcized into a glass, briefly, where it swirled as a miniature kind of hurricane-and then was emptied into my mouth, down my esophagus, where such swallowed Gods resided in my stomach, softly rippled by the faint beat of my drunken heart.