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It reads like a movie script but was more like reality TV—a young man avoided murder charges because his lawyer spotted him in the crowd during an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm that was filmed at Dodger Stadium at the time of the slaying.

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“I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it’s hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.”

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“We’re fighting because you’re a moron.”

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He tells me he likes my green eyes. We have sex in the back of his car. I’m on top. He sweats a lot.

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Lots of One Direction fans are feeling quite “verklempt” today.

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When everything was the worst, but at least Larry understood you.

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Breaking Bad’s Bryan Cranston as Dr. Tim Whatley, Jerry and Kramer’s dentist.

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When the neuroses of a middle-aged, overweight, bald and unemployed man is trapped inside the body of a pretty little girl, shit gets weird!

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10. HARPing on anything for way too long. For now, just relax–you have two whole decades to become bitter and begin saying the word “curmudgeon.”

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In the spirit of ‘Breaking Bad’ finally (!) winning Best Drama, all the Emmy voters took meth before they cast their ballots.