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I broke your d in half / you broke my heart / when I think about Camp You / it makes me wanna fart.

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She would be the girl you dread going out with on weekends, as you know the night will invariably end with her in tears, vomiting as you drag her, shoeless, into the passenger seat of your car.

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At first it was just obnoxious, but you’re a girl and that’s who this song was made for. I’m drawing the line now. Stop telling me that I don’t “get it”. There isn’t anything to get. Please cease or you will be asked to resign. Outlined below are the following reasons for my ultimatum.