Thought Catalog


Psych Ward Summer

The first night I arrive absolutely terrified. They tell me I can smoke a cigarette in the outdoor cage. I see faces cloaked in darkness, intermittently lit by fireworks. It’s the fourth of July.

How To Be Happy

Have healthy amounts of sex. Treat it like it’s a vitamin. Have you taken yours today? It’s essential that you feel desired and connected to another person. Have sex with someone on a Tuesday and watch it tide you over for the next few weeks.

An Invitation To My Pity Party

When we’re done finishing off our Klonopin rigatoni dish (imported from Italy and a pharmacy) we’re going to play a game called, “Obsessed With Being Depressed.” The rules go like this: Everyone goes around and talks about how sad they are and then people will try to one up their depression with an even sadder story.