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Some called it snorkeling, some called it scuba diving but it didn’t matter, they were the same thing… killing yourself to live.

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I can name so many good things about myself.

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7. Tara Reid is still alive – If she hasn’t given up yet, neither should you.

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You don’t realize that the reason there even are leftovers is that everyone else smarted up and stopped imbibing; you just admire your own liver’s prowess and the new-found numbing of your taste buds and chug away. “YES! I AM TOTALLY HAVING THE BEST TIME RIGHT NOW! wait, are you taping me? why are you… LOLZ, where’s my drink?”

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In an invent that took place last Thursday, a 16 or 17-year-old (reports vary) boy jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and miraculously survived. Not only did he survive, but he came out relatively unscathed, and was even able to swim to the shore after the 200 foot plunge.