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For the past few months, I’ve felt like a potato. Kind of sad, unmoving, semi-mashed. I was doing a successful job of ignoring my health and pulling the “I’ll deal with this later” card. Which, turns out, means you rarely will do it later. Because later just keeps being…later.

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I made it one day. Woke up the next morning and got a meatball sub at 10:30 am. I regret nothing.

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11. Crumpled up Wise Potato Chip bags

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I would rather StairMaster for two hours than not eat this bowl of pasta and garlic knots.

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It sucks for a week. But it gets better.I FELT better. My skin got brighter. I woke up earlier and didn’t feel tired.

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1. You will lose weight.

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Let me break it down for the disillusioned women who have trained themselves to accept flavorless cardboard as food, the trendiest diet book as gospel, and the latest exercise fad as her one-way ticket to happiness.

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Saying “I’m Fine”