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It’s oftentimes painful for me to open up to people I know, which is strange and doesn’t make sense on the outside, but it kind of actually does if you really think about it. Sometimes we need the removal or absence of a relationship in order to really talk.

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12. People can see you when you cry on the phone to your dad after your first few days. Even in the back hallway.

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If Kim’s day-to-day routine and decisions are the biggest thing you have to get angry about, maybe you need to get a better life for yourself.

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4. Heteros can be really judgmental when it comes to anal sex.

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Try not to be too unimpressed when your first date involves him screaming GO CUBS GO

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If a size 16 wants to wear a crop top, who actually cares? Is it really affecting your life if another woman is wearing something that you don’t think is putting her curves on perfect display?

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Whereas some people simply enjoy cooking, you, Jewish grandma-in-training, are aroused by it. The more people you have to cook for, the better. You’ve even suggested bringing some matzah balls to bed with you and your boyfriend, just to spice things up a smidgen.

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There was a point in my high school life where my Mom was obsessed about my virginity and she kept drilling me with the same question over and over, “Are you still a virgin?” She then went through my phone without asking, which only ends in me encrypting it with four different passwords.