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My big concern was that going on a cruise would be like going to Vegas, except on water instead of in a desert.

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“Devote yourself to a band,” they said. “It’ll be fun!” they said.

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“Wait, does Katy Perry hate women?”

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The WASPy Academy Award-winner doles out advice on how to make the perfect pizza oven (buy a pizza oven for your backyard, duh!) and where to stay if you happen to be in San Francisco (The Four Seasons obviously, although Paltrow acknowledges that the five star hotel can be a “bit hit or miss.”)

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This show was written by the writers of NBC’s The Voice. Or it was written, in collaboration, by singers on NBC’s The Voice. Or it was written by NBC’s The Voice after NBC’s The Voice anthropomorphized.