“

I’d never really dated other Jews. I have nothing against them. I like bagels, complaining, self-deprecating humor, and overblown camp stories as much as the next person. I just always went for goys. Their light hair, white skin and freakishly tall bodies just did it for me. For a brief amount of time, I even dated a Lebanese girl. But no Jews. Go figure.

“

For most of my life, Judaism meant nothing to me. To him, it was worth dying for.

“

Well, I hope you’ve brought your A-game, because we ladies of the Hebrew persuasion won’t settle for much less than your absolute best, and yes, we are watching closely! Shall we proceed?

“

I love being Jewish because so many people hate Jews. It creates instant content for articles like this.

“

10. Sell your Uniqlo heat tech tights on Craigslist.

“

In 2013, I shouldn’t feel ashamed to be Jewish, but I do, especially when that part of me announces itself in a thick Yiddish accent on my Mac.