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It’s important that we explore the new types of jeans fashion week has bestowed upon us, and then collectively toss our boyfriend jeans in the trash.

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Even if you do everything right, the best you’re going to get is one of those sideways glances, like she’s making you think that she thinks you’re full of baloney.

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What is there to gain from walking around looking like a grade schooler with a beard who just fled from a public school gym class?

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Your bed.

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Decked out in graphic T-shirts from Abercrombie with roll-on-glitter covering my eyelids and a big smile sporting a whole lot of colorful metal, I thought I was hot shit. Now, I have no idea what I was thinking.

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I give up already.

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I’ll be honest, there are times I don’t even make it to the bedroom. Sometimes I get a few steps inside my front door, decide the terrible prison that is a pair of blue jeans has become unbearable, and drop ‘em right there in the living room.

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Does the shirt cover four inches of crotch/thigh area, AT LEAST? Are the leggings somehow embellished to make them more “pant-like”?