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“You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.” —Timber Hawkeye

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“Of all the abysses in all the towns in all the world, he stares into mine.”

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Why is it that some men can’t have a job and a girlfriend at once? Why, in these situations, does a guy see his girlfriend as a burden rather than a support system; as a distraction rather than a source of comfort or solace?

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7. E.B. White to his wife on the occasion of her pregnancy, “written” by their dog.

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The saying is also incomplete. Because while people can be quite awful, there are plenty of other ordinary, petty tortures. Nor is fair to say “people” when it is much more clearly certain people, doing certain things.

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Cats only shed their fur when they contemplate the fleeting nature of life. Each cat is like a tiny Jean-Paul Sartre.

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Maybe I want you to just lie down completely on top of me, in a position where the peanut gallery would see nothing exciting, but our bodies would be mashed together in a sweaty, rocking union.

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Finally, I decided to stop waiting for the right permutation of schedules and bank accounts, and just get my first trip out of the way. I wanted to see as much of the world as possible, as quickly as possible. I called a travel agent and set a course for Europe. Alone.