I saw Debbie, who was – as usual – depressed and depressing. Perhaps she was just having her period. That’s always the way I figure I can excuse girls’ black moods. I wish guys had that excuse, too; I’d be having my period a couple of times a week.
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We’ve all been friends with a Lindsay Lohan—a crazy hot girl who’s a blast to hang out with until she’s stolen all of your drugs, clothes and boyfriend. She’s the friend you invite to parties with a warning. “Listen, my friend Lindsay is coming and she’s a bit of a loose cannon. Just be chill around her and I’m sorry if she does anything too insane. Love her though!”