8. Being an Olympian can’t hurt either.
My time there captured the stereotypical joys of white Americans as no other place could. I’ve been to Texas and I’ve been to Paris Review readings; both are white in a very distinct way, but each repudiates the other, thus reflecting only half the diversity of white Americans.
You can relate to your friends who have been in relationships. There’s no longer this awkward divide between you two. You get it! All those times they bitched to you about a poorly worded text message makes sense! You’re sorry to ever have thought they were just being a crazy bitch!
Look around campus and realize the breadth of notable alumnus: a slew of former U.S. Presidents, ambassadors, authors, artists, and CEOs. Jump at the thought that some of said luminaries may have lived in your room, down the hall, or sat in your chair in your classroom.