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Look how not excited I am to take my own picture.

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This is why you shouldn’t compare yourself to the strangers you see on social media.

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The purpose of your life is not to have a gorgeous Instagram account.

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This is ridiculous.

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It all started out as random hateful private messages on Instagram sent by one person from different anonymous accounts.

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“Inspiration porn” only goes so far.

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I have over two million followers, so I just assumed people were hanging on my every word.

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What will happen to you when you see the one thing you don’t want to see?

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As someone who is practically perfect in every way (I’m a distant cousin of Mary Poppins, but I use a Dirt Devil to travel), I feel it’s my duty to share my vast knowledge in hopes you can glean even a modicum of what I have for yourself.

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I don’t know about you, but this isn’t my life.