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“When almost all of your Facebook photos look like escort ads.”

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“Guy came into the shop and asked for a bigger dick to be tattooed on his dick.”

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Sixty-six people died as a fire swallowed the club whole. They’d assembled to watch a band called Burn.

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I’ve been making clown porn and doing clown themed burlesque shows for well over a decade now.

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I’ve been out of high school for nearly a decade now, so I’m unsure if there actually are any DMB fans still out there. But I assume that there are, and that they’re still the worst.

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You’re not special because you make art.

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I should not use Wikipedia while drinking.

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Chad Kroeger once said something that changed my life. I’m paraphrasing, but it was close to “People say Nickelback sucks. Well, we pack arenas and have sold over forty million records. You don’t like us, but we clearly don’t suck.”