My OCD is not wanting to be clean. It’s not mopping my apartment floors ever day. It’s not driving back home to make sure I didn’t light the place on fire. It’s not rearranging my desk a million times a day. It’s not rinsing and lathering and repeating.
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You’re terrified to tell people about these thoughts because you don’t want them to think you would actually do any of them.
It’s embarrassing and scary to admit that you have these thoughts that pop up in your head when you don’t believe in them. You aren’t crazy or psycho or a serial killer. It’s an illness. Get the help you need.