“

“The ol’ fashioned way—I walked in on my parents.”

“

“It was soooo good to see you” *makes gagging face*

“

He was everything I never imagined I would be committed to; older and married, he clearly didn’t have much respect for people of color.

“

Watching exactly where your money goes month in and month out will help you curb any behaviors that you may not have even noticed (yeah, you didn’t really need to buy a croissant with your coffee twice this week… you also didn’t need to buy coffee when your roommate has a coffee maker at home).

“

Staring down at her flaming red thicket, I didn’t know where to begin. I felt tragically overwhelmed, like the time I tried benching 140lbs in front of my father. I closed my eyes and began licking willy-nilly. I was ballparks from any so-called G-spot.