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But perhaps the worst part of all is the enormous tools who rub in your face just how refreshed, energized, and motivated they are on Mondays. They bound into school or work with an air about them that says, “I got more sleep than you and ate Greek yogurt with homemade granola in the morning, please punch me in the face.”

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If you didn’t get so cray cray last night, you could’ve spent your day doing very important things like faxing, grocery shopping, laundry, scanning, buying pencils for some vague grown up reason, cleaning your room (dammit!) and picking up a gift for your grandma who is deathly ill and needs some cheering up.

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It’s 9:05 AM and you’ve already devoured your Chinese food leftovers from the night before, drank two tall glasses of water and a Diet Coke, swallowed a double dose of multivitamins, and smoked four cigarettes – but to no avail. At this point, you must concede: it’s officially Bring Your Hangover to Work Day. Again.

“

You’re shaking off the remnants of last night, scrubbing the caked-on mascara from your face, scrounging in your purse for money you can’t believe you spent, deleting the drunk texts you wish you could forget. Too lazy to shower, you ponytail your hair and half-heartedly squirt some concealer under your sallow eyelids.