“

Getting my first cell phone also significantly marked my transition from kid to tween — in my mind at least.

“

Rachel would be an Insta-famous influencer for boss brands like Louis Vuitton and Gucci. She would be more famous for her brows, than her hair though cuz #browsonfleek.

“

“I’m always here silently judging all of your dietary choices.”

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I’m too busy being fuckable to care. 

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I studied abroad in college and haven’t been able to stop talking about it since, so I guess you could say I’m That Bitch™.

“

I left that summer, feeling older and wiser. Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield had once again come through for me as my guide into life.

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Good luck finding someone who loves you like I do.

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I’m thinking to myself the whole time, “Come onnnnnnn, dude! I’m sorryyyy. Just let it the fuck go and relaxxxxxx! Shit was an accident.”

“

You organize a surprise birthday party for her and she shows up with a date who is clearly better than you in every way.

“

I didn’t quite realize how all-encompassing my anxiety had become until my underutilized and undercompensated predicament invaded my dreamspace.