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The one and only thing that makes this life worth livin’ is Youtube videos of top ten countdowns from the X factor.

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Underrated: Dogs wearing sunglasses.

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So, for the time being I continue my three coffees, three teas a day habit.  

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Justify this to those who know you. Believe it or not, some people don’t think slapping others in the face is ever warranted.

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As a libertarian, I firmly believe that the world should be a punishing, almost impossibly cruel, place. A post-governmental paradise where, if you fail, you have nobody to blame but yourself, because, after all, it was your choices that got you down onto that park bench to sleep. 

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The first thing we must do to turn our lives around is to get our spending under control. No more spending money on the frivolous things we young people like, like avocado toast and medicine.

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Getting my first cell phone also significantly marked my transition from kid to tween — in my mind at least.

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Rachel would be an Insta-famous influencer for boss brands like Louis Vuitton and Gucci. She would be more famous for her brows, than her hair though cuz #browsonfleek.

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“I’m always here silently judging all of your dietary choices.”

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I’m too busy being fuckable to care.