He asks me what I want to do with my life, but before I can answer, he says, “You know, I like being an entrepreneur, but it’s always been my dream to make electronic music.”

Three words: Deep-frying turkey. It’s a good thing we decided to do it in the driveway, instead of in the garage.

Let’s face it: dating is like a high school test that you will most likely continue to fail.

Pretty exciting isn’t it, what with the sweaty palms, the involuntary leg shakes and the desire to abuse anxiety medication?

You’ve heard the phrase, “You’re smarter than I expected,” multiple times.

📚📚📚

Remember to feign interest during this stage of small talk even if it feels like a small part of your soul is being vacuumed through your ears.

They truly care about me and have gotten me through some hard times. 

There are plenty of companies out there willing to sell you costumes that aren’t quite what you are looking for, but are close. In fact, some are so close that you can’t help but laugh at what they come up with.

We’re human. Karma taught me my lesson.