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“Everybody feels lucky. But you never feel this lucky.”

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This is a more widespread problem than any of us would like and you need to know about it.

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On the top of his bejeweled and fried throne is the Hot Pocket joke to end all food jokes.

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Count up all the graduation money your family members sent you in the hope that it might ease your transition into adulthood. Then slowly spend the majority on fancy coffee drinks from Starbucks and organic vegan granola bars from Whole Foods. Spend the rest on a stylish Chinese lantern with an orange flower design around the edge you ordered off the internet.