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I’m a charming man, easy to fall for but just barely, fleetingly. It becomes clear to women that I am dangerous. I am too critical of everything and everyone, myself included.

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“2. Women are sluts if they sleep around, but men are not. This fact is due to the biological differences between men and women.”

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Four months after your child’s birth, at which the adoptive father cut the umbilical cord, and just a few days before you deploy to go get shot at for your country, you’re finally notified that, surprise, your ex-fiance’ gave your child up for adoption without telling you.

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I could write a whole spiel about my distaste for the great American scam that is the unpaid internship, but I digress.