ARIES: You were born a firecracker with a quarter-inch fuse. You start arguments AND end them, even if the other side has no interest in arguing.
PISCES: You’re such a sweet and kind person, which is why it pains me to tell you that you’re a slob. You will eventually get around to cleaning, but not before making one billion excuses for why you can’t do it right now.
PISCES: You are forgiving—WAY TOO forgiving for your own good. If Gandhi and Mother Teresa had a baby, it would be you.
They’ve gotten hurt a lot but despite that, they still believe in love. They know it’s one of the best things that can happen to someone.
Someone who can meet their impatience with teaching them to be calm.
Don’t fall in love with a Taurus unless you are the type who can understand someone’s bark is worse than their bite. Someone who does mean well.
Don’t fall in love with a Leo because they aren’t easy to love but they are completely worth it.
SCORPIO: Your idea of classy is to get your name written in rhinestones on the back of your stonewashed denim jacket. You’re proud that you have two pairs of UGG boots—one for menial labor, the other for “special occasions.”
GEMINI: You don’t give a f*ck. You don’t even HAVE a f*ck to give. You sold all your f*cks long ago. Someone could hit your emotions with a brick and you still wouldn’t feel anything.
Coming in at number 1 Scorpio.