“

I like imagining you, a little drunk, giving me a hard time about something. 

“

Mayer is ranked as number one and I am, in a word, thirsty.

“

for one night, I didn’t want to be cute
or pleasant, or nice enough.

“

He only wants you when he’s drunk. When he’s lonely and hates the idea of crawling into bed alone.

“

I want to make out, but you don’t like kissing in public.

“

She pulled over on a street that dead ends. There weren’t any streetlights and I assumed everyone in the nearby houses were sleeping, so it was practically total darkness.

“

Checking your Snapchat story for evidence of just how terrible you were.

“

“Being down there you really get a sense of your dude’s hygiene level. It’s funny how many jokes exist about the way vaginas smell. You ever been nose level with balls? It’s not always fantastic.”

“

I’m very much pro-choice, but I could never have an abortion myself. I’m also 30-something with a house and a very good salary, so more than able to care for a kid. I’ve always wanted kids anyway, so I decided to keep it. I told him as much, and that he was free to be involved or not, but I didn’t need his money.

“

“I spent all f*cking night in her closet getting drunk while naked. Almost 6 hours.”