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“I have hidden a tiny speaker in an adjacent cubicle wall that emits a soft cat meow every two hours.”

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The Champagne And Elderflower Cocktail: You are a trendsetter. You are three steps ahead of everyone, did yoga two years before all the other Lululemon Yogis, and you drink kombucha like there’s a mass shortage and you need to consume it all before it goes extinct.

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Most people may feel the need to buy expensive gifts to show how much they care, but the holidays are mostly about spending time with your loved ones and just being able to enjoy yourself

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There are plenty of cool and understated ways to show you’re in the holiday spirit without having to be Chevy Chase, sing, or drink dairy-based alcohol.

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The best and worst part about the holidays: Holiday Parties

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Someone is going to vomit in your sink and you can only blame yourself.

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Try to act cooler than you feel. Definitely don’t tell them how much you miss home, or that you also dread coming back to it every year; that type of internal conflict is too deep for catching-up chat.

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At no other time of the year is it socially acceptable to give someone a tub of three flavors of popcorn as a gift.

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Anything we do is immediately rendered charming and “festive” (the universal code word for the perpetual drunkenness and gluttony of the holidays) because we look like something off a CMT Christmas Variety Show. Our grandmothers would find us adorable, even as we are vigorously heaving hot toddies into the bathroom sink.

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Christmas has long been championed as the ultimate holiday. I love it, too. But, it increasingly seems like the holiday that over-promises and under-delivers…