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You have no idea how much it has affected the way I viewed myself.

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Sex has become normal and not something to value.

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Letting go is trying to hold on to your future and not re-write the past. It is trying to figure out when you started to mean something, when the lies stopped, when you were not just playing ‘make-believe.’

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“In some ways, I still and will always love you, but in a completely different way now. Know that you always have a space in my heart no matter how tiny that place is.”

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Your love created a monster that craved your validity. Your love burned my soul, questioned my innocence. Made me believe that my heart wasn’t worth keeping.

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Don’t let me know that you sit up in bed at night, wondering how I’ve been doing. Don’t let me know that you’ve drafted hundreds of texts that you’ve never sent out to me. Don’t let me know that you’ve started drinking more in the hopes of wiping the taste of my lips off of you.

“

I started writing things I wanted
and things I had but never wanted