“

“I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”

“

Brave, Loyal, Wise, and Cunning. No matter where you lie you’re definitely someone’s perfect match.

“

Gryffindor: You’re always the person who asks the Uber driver if they have an aux cord.

“

Determined, compulsive, and driven to succeed: that’s a Scorpio for you.

“

Set the Sorting Hat on your heads, kids, because it’s time to find out whether your Hogwarts House would survive the terrifying situation of living through a horror movie.

“

I first began reading the Harry Potter series when I was in third grade.

“

You have never once backed down from a dare.

“

Seeing that Ron labeled every candidate: Slytherin and forgot to classify George W. Bush entirely, the boys get into a pretty good row.

“

What I actually said seems like something a fetishist would ask of a specialty hooker.