Oh, we have 55 mutual friends and you’re telling me that this is a “Person I May Know”? Screw off, Facebook. Of course I know this person. How could I forget them? They taunted me mercilessly in high school. They gave me anxiety while walking down the hallways and intimidated me with the Linkin’ Park sticker on their backpack. [
It had that handsome young man. You know the one. He was in the film about the boy who was a little…you know… slow. What do you mean I can’t say slow? That’s what he was. You know the one. He was in The Departure with Jack Whatshisname. Leonardo. Leonardo…DaVincio. He’s very handsome. I don’t much care for him.