Get ready for three hours of sequins and bullshit. It’s the Oscars!
Good Vibes Catalog
Becoming jaded to the plights of addicts is somewhat disturbing. You should never yawn when you see someone shoot up drugs, but here I am! Yawning away as Jennifer—the molestation victim—shoots up in a seedy motel with her BF who’s also her pimp. Ugh, how did I get to this place of being so desensitized?
You like the party friend, but you actually don’t know a lot about them. Sometimes you wonder if they do normal things during the day like go grocery shopping or run to the post office. You also wonder if they’re actually happy and if so, how they could live this lifestyle you only experience once or twice a month.
…A country where the consoling fiction of the level playing field and the aspirational fantasies fanned by celebrity culture parry any hint of class consciousness, owning a gun is the closest countless downwardly mobile Americans will ever come to any sense of immediate empowerment.
I think it’s hot when girls smoke. As long as they don’t LOOK like they smoke. Do you know what I mean? Like if they have yellow teeth and are real stinky, that’s no good. For me the ideal smoking lady looks like Jackie O and just lounges around all day in tight sweaters with a cig hanging from her well-manicured fingers.
Vanity Fair is arguably the thinking man’s Us Weekly. It’s a real treat to read about the trials and tribulations of some weird oil heiress that’s been fighting over her inheritance and sleeping with her stepfather.
At this point, it’s safe to say that Bravo’s Real Housewives franchise has made an indelible mark on pop culture. Since its conception in 2006, there’s been six installments, record deals, spin-offs, sex tapes, book deals and exhaustive tabloid coverage for these delusional divas, allowing them to transition from legends in their own mind to sort of/kind of legends in real life.
Here’s something you all should know: Cocaine makes everyone act like a giant asshole. Not only are you constantly licking your gums and looking insane, you’re saying the silliest things to whoever you’re doing it with. Because I’m so interested in making the world a less coked-out place, I’ve taken the liberty of creating a typical conversation one would have while under the influence of cocaine.
There are seemingly enough common denominators between the two to sustain cogent conversation – book deals, depression – but it becomes obvious early on that the two-hour dialogue will be anything but. Observing a conversation between Elizabeth Wurtzel and Kristin Hersh is a lot like sipping from your water glass, and swallowing gin.
As usual, she’s redeemed herself (sort of) with her follow-up single, “Teenage Dream,” the title song from her new album. It’s a slightly more rock-flavored affair that kind of makes me want to fall in lust and hit the beach (though not necessarily in that order). That said, “Teenage Dream” is indicative of my overall problem with the 25-year-old rising star.