“

Some of these laws may no longer be on the books, yet it’s mildly arousing to think they once were.

“

6. I’m crazy. That’s what he said, anyway.

“

39. Annnnnd scene! **Goes to computer, switches off webcam.**

“

Five days after I hooked up with Sean, my throat started closing up. We’re talking massive tonsils, white bumps. The whole nine yards of strep.

“

A woman named Felony might have to put up with sleaze-ball pick-up lines about “arresting beauty” or “so good-lookin’ it should be against the law,” but a face-full of apple-tini and a Prada pump in the groin will shut them up quick.