This isn’t about what’s fair. It’s about what we can afford. And we can’t afford to pretend it’s fine that everything we do or think is somehow wrong. We can’t afford to act like it’s okay that “Girls can do anything!” got translated somewhere along the line into “Women must do everything.” We can’t afford to live lives we have to fool our own central nervous systems into tolerating.
I have never understood why some people feel the need to get territorial over and play games with other people’s partners. Even when they have their own. It doesn’t matter if you were friends with the guy before he got a girlfriend or a girl before she got a boyfriend, there are some lines you just do not cross.