You chose to leave me hanging by the thread. You chose me to lose my trust in you again. You chose to break your promise. You promised to walk with me in my journey of healing but you ruined me again.
God answered my prayers with you. He brought me someone far greater than I could ever imagine, someone who challenges me, grows alongside me, and chooses me, every single day.
Don’t let me hold on to what I need to let go of. Don’t let me fight for what I need to release. Do not let me desire what will eventually destroy me. Do not let me love those who will break my heart.
It wasn’t until recently that I’ve started to genuinely feel that He is watching over me, guiding me through the confusing and dark times; guiding me towards the light to find strength and courage.
Maybe if I realize that losing you was not of God, and not meant to break me, but to build me, I can decide to let you go happily, knowing that where I go next will be where I need to be.
The truth is, our lives are going to be hard, even if and when we pray or listen or rely on Him. But in all things, all moments, all days, all challenges—He is good.
Thank you for loving me. Thank you for loving me despite my flaws, despite my sins, despite all the ways I won’t and never will measure up to your perfection. Thank you for giving me a second chance, a third chance, a three millionth chance to start again, and to love me, unconditionally.
It’s okay to feel alone. It’s okay to close the door. It’s okay not to feel okay. It’s okay to feel weak.
“In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
When God doesn’t give you something you’re praying for right away, it means he’s not done teaching you what you need to learn. He’ll bring you changes that will ultimately change you and you’ll look back and understand why you had to wait.