Your apartment had a very distinct smell that I remember almost crying over during our last day sitting around on that super shitty couch (remember how the back of the couch was broken?) and you were taking post-its off the wall and I felt like my head was blowing up like a balloon because of how hard I was keeping it all together.
I would appreciate setting up a more formal custody calendar to better optimize both of our times with your boyfriend. Feel free to send me your Gmail address.
Arrive home. Collapse into a pile. Pour yourself some red wine. You deserve it. Ponder what to eat for dinner. Realize you can’t afford take out again. Maybe frozen pizza? You ate the last one a few days ago. Lay down for just one second. You will figure it out.
Count the times you chew when eating, to slow down and enjoy every single bit of the flavor that might be hidden.
Summer is almost here, which means vacations filled with relaxation, sunshine, fun, good food, and (hopefully) a nicely padded wallet to enjoy your summer adventures.
It’s that time of year again: Everyone you know is talking about Black Mirror. You break out in a cold sweat. You tried watching two episodes and couldn’t get over how depressing it was. Here’s Black Mirror Lite™, some made-up Black Mirror storylines that are gentle enough for you to digest, while being vague enough so other people might assume you suffered through the actual show on Netflix.
The reality is: we were hacked more than will ever be revealed. And the hacking will cause damage.
You shouldn’t have to fight for friends. If you find that the people you are surrounded with are only reaching out to you when they need something or have found themselves in a tough situation, they are not your friends. Cut them off.
Looking through our messages as they have evolved over the years from IM’s and emails to Yahoo! And Gmail chats and now Facebook Messenger and texts, we have been able to use these methods as a way to chat about things that are sometimes uncomfortable.
Breakfast consists of grabbing multiple handfuls of Cap’n Crunch Berries while you do your first scroll through Reddit. Memes are your true sustenance. You refrain from properly hydrating because it makes you think rationally.