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I just thought, “I’m so lonely.”

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1) ENCUENTRA LA INFORMACIÓN POR TI MISMO

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It’s almost as if I can smell him through the screen.

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Yesterday morning, I got the email I had been waiting for since last year: the list of novels that made it past the first round of Amazon’s Breakthrough Novel Award contest had been put up.

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Gmail saves everything.

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Printing something out. Printers are the number one foe for Millennials. We would like to own one someday but maybe after we get married and have children. I don’t know. Owning a printer means your youth is officially over, right?

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Class has been cancelled today. For those who do show up, there will be a pizza party.

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You have an email address at hotmail.com, yahoo.com or, gasp!, Comcast.net?! This year, I’m giving you the gift of relevancy aka Gmail for Christmas.

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To symbolize the randomness and disorientation of lust, the pop-ups will keep coming one after the other and they’ll be the kind you can’t X out because when you click the X, you only open another ad. Forever and ever, for all eternity until you drown in computer porn viruses.

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26. Guy I had a class with senior year. We had to make a video together and I had this episode, almost an exact repeat of something that happened in 7th grade, where I couldn’t stop laughing for an extended period of time. Yeah, I guess I had a crush on him.