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It’s been ten years since I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that I don’t actually have. Going through all that was an insane, insightful journey. It’s one that I can only feel grateful for today, despite everything that’s happened.

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Just like you, we actually wish we’d never heard of the phrase “gluten free.

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You say, “I could never give up cheese.” Yeah, that’s what I used to say. And then I did. You ask, “Where do you get your protein?” The same way elephants do — plants. You say, “Chili without meat is not real chili.”

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“Buy me a beer? BUY ME A BEER?! “

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It sucks for a week. But it gets better.I FELT better. My skin got brighter. I woke up earlier and didn’t feel tired.

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“Are you eating gluten-free for health, or by choice?”

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Dietitians’ cautions aside, has a single celebrity come out in support of this lowly protein? Has a single telethon in the name of gluten been held? Has ‘Save the Gluten’ been the byline in a single OpEd piece?

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12. If he identifies as a member of an art collective

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Bragging about being from the 90’s, dressing like you’re from the 80’s and listening to music from the 70’s.

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The norm in this country is still for doctors to be brusque and overly technical, and for probiotics and other dietary wisdom to be touted only in ways that can be fit into the space of a 20-second television advertisement.