“I wanted a boy instead.”
Give Her The Best Oral Ever
You’ll laugh til you cry because all these are so spot on.
This chick wanted to be my slave. She would wear a collar, and leash, and just sit in the corner to be used. No cuddling or she would leave.
I cleaned the kitchen today, so I’d have room to fuck you on the table.
“It felt like the Sun was inside my body.”
“When you’re riding a guy, don’t go up and down; go back and forth.”
I don’t want to leave. He’s my first love. And the truth is I’m never going to love like this again.
“During sex, out of nowhere, Siri turns on and says ‘I’m listening.’ That threw me off for a bit.”
“Easiest way to scale back your sex life? Get married.
Easiest way to reduce it to twice a year? Have kids.”
“When a close friend of mine died, he joked about it.”