“

New fancy sheets to replace the ones we got Cheeto dust on when we were drinking whiskey in bed last night.

“

An opportunity is one of the greatest gifts we can receive.

“

There are plenty of cool and understated ways to show you’re in the holiday spirit without having to be Chevy Chase, sing, or drink dairy-based alcohol.

“

I’ve given it some thought.

“

1. $10 Gift Card for an Unknown Restaurant

“

Because nothing says “Happy Holidays” like passive aggression!

“

Gift cards are lame – we can do better.

“

9. Getting Taylor Swift’s music back on Spotify.

“

1. Natural Rolling Papers

“

2. Ironic celebrity perfume