You’re totally fine, and then it hits. The pain. The agony. The sobbing into your best friend’s blouse at 3AM, surrounded by pizza crust and empty beer bottles.
1:36 PM: You instantly regret asking questions about last night because now you’re even more embarrassed and hate yourself even more.
Checking your Snapchat story for evidence of just how terrible you were.
Break-ups make people do a lot of crazy things. Some people put each and every ounce of the unrequited love they gave to a punching bag or a treadmill and lose weight.
If you rely on alcohol to break you out of your shell or remove you from your problems, you’ll only become increasingly insecure about your genuine self.
Your body is a combo of bruised, bleeding, and semi-dying as you scroll through yesterday’s Snapstories trying to piece together your night.
Step six: Go full cray on your Facebook timeline
1. The New Yorker who walks in like they are God’s gift to this shithole bar, ordering top shelf booze, wearing a fur vest, and generally being too good for whatever is going on. 2.
No sober person has ever walked into a nightclub and said: “I like this. Let’s spend more time in places like this.”