When you have a free weekend, your first instinct isn’t to text everyone on your contact list to see who will come over.
I’m sorry I cancel plans so often. It’s never your fault and I wish I could explain my anxiety and mental illness better.
Anxiety makes me feel like I can never say ‘yes’ to plans. It overwhelms me with to do lists and unchecked boxes in my brain that tell me that I can never relax. It’s always making me sprint to the finish line, and run until my legs go numb.
Sure, you’d smile at the thought of them before, but this smile is different; you’re sure of it.
It shouldn’t be something you have to ask for. The truth is, if you have to constantly ask for someone’s attention, someone’s time, someone’s words, then you’re doing a lot more work than you should.
Someone asks you about her weeks later and you catch yourself in time, but it’s a close call. You smile a good smile and say she’s doing fine, and it’s believable, really, it is.
In a world trying to make you feel unloved, I’ll love you with all my heart. I’ll love you when you’re weak. I’ll love you when you’re quiet. I’ll love you when you’re scared.