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Friends or Netflix?

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13. That half the other people who said they were going out didn’t go out either.

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1. I’m just going to have one glass of wine.

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How Many Cats Can I Look At On The Internet?

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Sometimes, when I’m at home on a Friday night watching the most recent episode of scandal that was on the night before, but that I didn’t have the time to watch because my bedtime is now 9pm, I think to myself: what would it feel like to be cool?

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4. Wow, this other message is clearly a stock message that you send to all the girls. I’m so flattered.

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14. Leave your whole wallet at home. Don’t even bring your debit card — you don’t need it!

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Before Friday nights were the place where television shows went to die slowly in front of very low ratings (Chuck, Prison Break, Ugly Betty, etc.), ABC’s TGIF was a block of elite programming that featured legendary lineups over the years.

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Your eyes are already focused on, or near, the words and symbols comprising it, for example “for example” and “.”

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The person you need to stop leading on already because there IS NO WAY IT’S GOING TO WORK OUT, YOU KNOW THAT, STOP IT