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‘The Spectacular Now’ helps bring this question to the forefront of viewer’s minds: When does loving someone become detrimental to their health?

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4. Sixteen Candles: “That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call ’em something else.”

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Do you want to be a professional kickboxer, while she wants to study in England? Is her father, the dad from Frasier, being investigated by the IRS for tax evasions? All of these issues can be solved by blasting/serenading your beloved via boombox outside of her window.

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The Dark Cristal follows Gelfling Ludacris as he tries to return the Cristal shard to its original vintage bottle. The bottle is guarded by the Skanksis — ten evil vulture-like creatures who drain the vitality of hoes in different area codes to remain young.

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Do you belong to a Facebook group called, “North Kennedy High Promz 2012, so we don’t all wear the same dress, OMG”? Have you recently been made aware by Katy Perry, or someone who sounds a lot like Katy Perry, that you are, in fact, a firework?

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Another dirty dancer – if you’re noticing a pattern here, it’s no mistake. I vetted my first ex-boyfriend after discovering him during my junior high choir’s winter concert. I like the singin’ and the dancin’.

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I’m not going to see the movie, though, except maybe later I will, when I’m, say, 40, and for some anomalous reason have subscribed to a cable television service and spend much of my depressed existence sideways on a couch, staring heavily into Lifetime programming, which is bound to eventually feature this, the MTV remake of the 80s seminal Kevin Bacon/ John Lithgow classic Footloose.

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Terrible movies that are totally awesome are the kind you either won’t admit to liking, or proclaim you like because you’re trying to be ironic. Terrible movies that are totally awesome are movies with cheesy-ass special effects, sensational plots and an extreme disregard for reality. Terrible movies are terrible, but they’re also awesome.