Make everyone jealous of your wraithlike frame, from overstuffed middle aged women past their prime, to that bitch Tiffany who bangs all the hot guys.
Get ready for Pinterest boards full of all-avocado diet tips.
Basically, what I’m trying to say
Without coming off as rude
I’d just really like to know beforehand
Will there be food?
How is this supposed to be a good thing again???
“How long is this going to last?” Probably longer than your next fling who you’ve already dubbed “the one.” Anyone want to place their bets?
There’s no winning with some people and certain situations, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You just have to accept it.
This almost makes up for me never getting my Hogwarts letter.
It’s 6:37PM on Tuesday. Will they all be gone? My heart is pounding. My stomach growling. My family waiting.
It seems so harmless, so innocent, doesn’t it? It’s grocery shopping, a chore, a suburban drudgery. But for me it’s become both a source of too much joy and the bane of my existence. Alcoholics can swear off alcohol. They can stop going to places that serve it. But how can I stop grocery shopping?
We all have an idea of what to expect on an Italian menu in America, but you’d be surprised to learn that you won’t find your favorite chicken parmigiana (which I literally had for dinner last night) anywhere on a menu in Italy.