“

All things considered, it’s probably a tiny bit uncool to be a dick to someone when they fear for their life.

“

I’ve considered therapy and meditation, two techniques that have benefitted numerous friends, but neither seems to offer quite the boost I’m seeking. What I really need, it turns out, is a hype man.

“

“I had to answer that 2 a.m. phone call in a low, whispered voice because my friend needed some help with a math problem, and I didn’t want to wake you. Why are you trippin’?”